Once upon a time, when she wasn’t filming Girls Meets World, Sabrina Carpenter would lament the woes of teenage love over cheery Vance Joy-esque ukulele scores (it was the mid-2010s, after all). A decade-plus later and Carpenter still isn’t having the best luck in relationships, but now that she’s no longer beholden to The Disney Channel, the 26-year-old singer is free to document every pheromone release and sexually charged endorphin rush she experiences in her music.
Though Carpenter’s forthcoming album Man’s Best Friend doesn’t hit streaming until Aug. 29, we’re already living (and dressing for) a horny-girl summer. To get in the spirit, we went over Carpenter’s lyrics with a fine-tooth comb to find the most titillating lyrics in her discography — because if there’s one person doing horny-girl summer correctly, it’s the pop star who adopts a different sex position on stage every night.
1. Busy woman, all the time / Busy woman for the rest of my life / My openings are super tight / Busy woman, unless you call tonight — “Busy Woman”
One minute Carpenter is claiming she’s flexible, the next minute she’s saying her openings are “super tight.” But if you think this song is about her chaotic schedule, you’d be sorely mistaken.
2. And now the next thing I know, I’m like / Manifest that you’re oversized — “Bed Chem”
Picturing someone’s d*ck immediately upon meeting them is so real, as is sending a prayer to the great beyond that its size is something worth writing home about.
3. Come right on me / I mean camaraderie / Said you're not in my time zone, but you wanna be — “Bed Chem”
The following line “Where art thou? Why not uponeth me?” is markedly less sexy than its lead-in, but the “come” word play here is so lustfully cheeky that the silly lyric actually comes as a reprieve for the listener. Gives us time for our cheeks to cool down before Carpenter inevitably gets our hearts thumping again.
4. And I bet we'd both arrive at the same time / And I bet the thermostat's set at six-nine / And I bet it's even better than in my head — “Bed Chem”
The song about imagined sexual chemistry was bound to have its fair share of horned-up lyrics — here, Carpenter visualizes the moment they finally get to put their bed chem to the test.
5. Whole package, babe, I like the way you fit / God bless your dad's genetics — “Juno”
Another song that could’ve appeared in totality on this list, “Juno” gets its name from the 2007 film of the same name about teen pregnancy. Carpenter wastes no time simulating youthful horniness on this track, praising her partner (and his father) for being well endowed within the first 20 seconds.
6. I know you want my touch for life / If you love me right, then who knows? / I might let you make me Juno — “Juno”
Carpenter is completely head-over-heels in love on this song, so much so that she practically begs her partner to “make me Juno,” aka get her pregnant (though the freaky positions she assumes while performing this track would suggest she’s more concerned with getting her rocks off than having a baby).
7. Can't help myself, hormonеs are high / Give me more than just some butterflies — “Juno”
Carpenter continues to channel her inner high-schooler on the second verse, blaming her desire for an orgasm on her stratospheric hormone levels — because risking a positive pregnancy test for a little afternoon delight simply wasn’t horny enough.
8. I'm talkin' all around the clock / I'm talkin' hope nobody knocks / I'm talkin' opposite of soft / I'm talkin' wild, wild thoughts — “Nonsense”
“Nonsense” was the hit that made Carpenter a horny household name, thanks to its shameless double entendres and cheeky turns of phrase. Sure, this line is pretty tame compared to the rest of this list, but in 2022, hearing the former Disney Channel star utter the words “opposite of soft” was nothing short of scandalous.
9. Used to get to work on time / But now you're takin' up my nights / Never been so glad to be so tired — “Bad For Business”
To become the horny superstar she is today, Carpenter first had to put in her 10,000 hours at the subtle-illusions-to-sex factory. And look how it paid off.
